her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
