She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
