Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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