I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
babies were throwing up all over the place
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
