this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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