it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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