He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
