i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
