you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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