Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
