I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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