Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
