I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
