I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
