I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
