just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
