Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
