i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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