that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
