You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
