is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
