You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
