You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I look better un-naked...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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