I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
