I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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