Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
