Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
