i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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