Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
