she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
