Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
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