i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
