PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
