Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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