I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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