Screwed.edu
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
