someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
