it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
