the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
