The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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