I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have fence marks all over my body
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.