Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
