Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
