I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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