Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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