his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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