We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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