There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
