I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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