I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
