i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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