so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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