i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't trust your balls anymore.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
