The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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