i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
