There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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