I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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