I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
