everyone is single if you try hard enough
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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