i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
