The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
