where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
