She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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