Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
