someone threw a dead crab at me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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