Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
