why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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