Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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