I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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