handjob tips. give me some.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
