I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
