some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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