the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A+ Viking dick
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
